Mathew Nolton Blog

Klingon Software Quality Assurance

A friend of mine sent this to me....it's a good laugh

Klingon Software Quality Assurance

The top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had Klingon programmers working for you:

• Specifications are for the weak and timid!!
• This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code.
• You cannot really apprecaite Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
• Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
• What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!
• Klingon function calls do not have "parameters" - they have "arguments"- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
• Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
• I have challenged the entire Quality Assurance team to a Bat-Leh contest! They will not concern us again.
• A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code.
• By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
• You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
• Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!