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MindFill - Brian Carroll's Blog

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Where did the fun go?

I’ve been programming for more than 20 years now and I’m as passionate about it today as when I started.   I’m one of those fortunate people that found what they loved to do and then succeeded at turning their hobby into a successful, well paying career.  So why do I feel so unsatisfied?  

I have a theory or three, so I’m going to share them and see if anyone else feels the same way.  If you have any words of wisdom I would love to hear them.  Keep in mind that I’m VERY thankful for where I am, so please don’t lecture me along those lines.

My first few jobs out of school were fun jobs.  I did a lot of factory floor automation stuff and had the opportunity to bring a lot of ideas to life.  I typically didn’t work from a project spec.  Instead, someone had an idea and I had to implement it.  

As I got more experienced I moved away from writing automation apps and into writing business apps.  This was fun for a while, but then started getting boring as I started working on existing systems rather than bringing ideas to life.  Getting tired of the boredom, I decided to become a trainer.  I thought I could train part-time and do some small development jobs during the off times, so I got my Microsoft certifications and became an MCT.  For the next 18 months or so I taught VB 6 and several other classes in various cities.  This was fun for a while, but I really wanted to use what I was teaching rather than just teaching it.  Unfortunately, living in a rural Kentucky town, I wasn’t landing any side jobs.  

Once the economy started heading south and the training gigs were tapering off, I didn’t have much choice; my family and I had to head south too.  We relocated to Nashville and I started working as a consultant for a Microsoft Certified Partner creating applications for their clients.  I was finally doing exactly what I wanted - it was awesome!  After about three months the owners decided to drop the Microsoft development end of their business and focus on PeopleSoft consulting.  At about this time one of their clients needed a VB/SQL developer, so they contracted me out to them for a year.  Once the contract expired I was promoted to Director of Technology for the consulting company.  Having both a network engineering and software development background made me an ideal candidate for the position they had available.  But about six months into the job I was missing doing full-time development so badly that I had to move on.  

That gets me to where I am today.  I work for an investment analysis and reporting company.  I started as a developer doing heads-down programming, but after four months was promoted to development group leader.  I was given the responsibility of overseeing our migration to .NET.  This part of the job has been really fun, but now I’m spending about 60% of my time managing five programmers that spend about 60% of their time doing support rather than development.  The other 40% of my time is spent programming, but it’s not “fun”.  I spend more time learning about investment analysis than anything else.  There is no real “development” involved because everything we do is add-ons for our existing system.  The real challenge is interpreting the business spec!  

I’m as passionate about programming today as when I started 20 years ago.  I love what I do (the development part of it) and I’m constantly striving to learn more.  I’ve worked with dozens of developers – lots of them smarter than me - but I’ve never worked with anyone as passionate or eager to learn about technology as I am. 

I’m beginning to think that my “dream job” is just that – a dream.  I want a job where I can bring dreams/ideas to life.  I don’t want to maintain existing systems.  I don’t want to waste 60% of my time doing things that don’t make me a better developer or have a direct impact on my future.  I don’t want to spend days pouring over stored procedures trying to figure out what the last developer was doing just so I can rearrange what he has already done.  I don’t want to be a “programmer”; I want to be a “developer”.  

I have a handful of my own project ideas that I would love to bring to life, but with a wife and two kids, it’s difficult to discard our primary income to chase a dream.  My wife is also developer, so she understands how I feel and would support me (literally) if I decided to start my own business.  I’m just not sure that I’m ready to take that risk…at least not without a lot of planning.

Surely I’m not the only developer that feels this way.  How about you?  Maybe you were passionate at one time, but have since adjusted your expectations to accept the reality that not all jobs are “fun”.  If so, tell us about it.

Is my “dream job” simply that – a dream?  Do I need to adjust my expectations and accept what I’m doing as the “real world”?  Or do I need to be like Joel Spolsky who recently said “I wanted to work in a real software company so much I started one.”?  

Published Jan 30 2004, 09:14 AM by bkcarroll
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Comments

 

Adam Weigert said:

You are not alone. I have only been at my current job for three years and already I am beginning to feel the lack of use of my talents. I really shine in interpretting specifications into new real products. However, lately I have been resigned to implementing existing technologies for the company to use. Mostly it contains a lot of non-programming work that just drives me crazy.

Time really flies when I am working on a new system, designing, prototyping, implementing, etc... One thing I have noticed is that if such a thing starts to happen and I do nothing about it, it will continue to happen. So instead of just sitting by and being content to doing what I am told, I still do what I am told, I am planning for my future here.

If you find yourself in a situation you do not like, most of the time there are two options. One, tell your boss, or two, find another job. Most of the time if you are in a decent sized company there are other areas you can go to work for. We recently started a new process of converting our mainframe applications to .NET. Instead of requesting to go to a team involved with this I am consulting them on Win32/.NET related issues since that is one of my natural talents. After a while this becomes dull, because I am supporting them in their development but I have no real say over what they actually end up coding, well to a point I do.

Supporting systems and adding enhancements to existing systems is a grevious task that I often put off until the last moment. When I discover how to do something new, and apply it to an existing project, that is when I am content.

Now, do we need to be content with where we are and be patient for things to happen? Of course. If we try to force some issues that would maybe get us where we want to be we could very well undermining the very thing you desire.

So I would say, communicate your frustrations to your manager. Maybe there is something he/she can do. Be patient if you see potential at your job. It will eventually come to you. Put yourself out there, make suggestions, do off-hours work to better yourself or to research solutions for your companies problems.

Beyond all else, bring glory to the LORD in everything you do and He will sustain you. It is important not to let things like this, emptiness or lack of contentness in your job to affect you. Use the Word of God to fill this emptiness and draw closer to Him. He will guide you to where you are supposed to be. He will give you what your heart desires if you will follow His Word.
January 30, 2004 10:50 AM
 

jeff said:

I feel your pain. While I didn't get into the specifics in my blog...

http://www.campusfish.com/members/jeff/blog?entry=488

...it's very much the same thing where I'm imlpementing business rules, and it's boring as hell.

You've obviously clever and smart enough to know what gets you up in the morning. I suggest forming a strategy that will keep you getting up for those reasons.
January 30, 2004 10:57 AM
 

Rob Chartier said:


Hey Brian,

I feel for ya. I knew what I was going to do at the tender age of 9 (20 years later) Im still doing it. I'm extremely passionate about our line of work, and also simply learning. After I completed a bachelor's degree in CIS I truely belived that I wasnt finished learning, especially in our industry; it would be foolish to think so. That thought made me comfortable. I need to learn and push my self and career further every day.

On top of the typical computer crap that we consume everyday I felt the growing need to explore other facets of life. Have you considered such things like picking up a music instrument, or learning another language (non-computer)? Two examples of things that I found very satisfying. Another important thing would be that you could involve your family members with you with it.

January 30, 2004 12:59 PM
 

Brad said:

I have come to the conclusion that I will not be truely satisfied unless I am at the tiller. On a daily basis, I am sometimes happy, sometimes unhappy or somewhere else in between, but I am never SATISFIED.
January 30, 2004 1:23 PM
 

Jason Alexander said:

Yep, I think alot of us are in the same boat. We had a similar .NET migration here at Match.com, and it was awesome. But, we've since been resigned to basic bolt-on projects, and maintenance.

In the past, I simply changed jobs every 2-3 years, or when I grew bored. Obviously, it's tougher to do that these days, and with my new 10 month old daughter, I really can't afford to do that.

For the past year or so I've been trying to focus more on the .NET community. Built a free, open source project (nGallery - http://www.ngallery.org), and generally help out where I can. I've found that this makes me happiest, working on my own projects, especially now that nGallery seems to well received and taking off. It's definitely a big motivator.

So, yeah, I think there's no nirvana of jobs. They're all somewhat broken in one way or another. It's just a matter of finding a tolerable level of broken-ness.
January 30, 2004 3:06 PM
 

Han Jun Li said:

I understand your frustration--I had gone through the same phase. After working in computers for the last ten years, I feel that things are no longer exciting; you can only take so much crap such as moving a button two pixels over or change the font size to be a little smaller. Unlike you, I am more optimistic about the future.
One thing that really changed my outlook was going to law school. I am currently pursuing my JD on a part time basis. I get to learn new skills and the chance to work for myself instead of someone else. If you cannot take this route, you can still do better by working at a startup that focus on technology. You get to build instead of maintaining other's people convoluted code--usually not the fault of the original programmer but the subsequent people who modified it without understanding the big picture. I hope this helps.
June 28, 2004 12:06 PM
 

Lindsay Smith said:

Unfortunately 'Business' is boring, and business software is only there to direct people in their business... hence the multitude of business rules....

Come to think of it... i'm writing this to avoid writing some business-specific code right now!

You won't ever be satisfied writing other peoples programmes. You should, between you and your wife, save enough money to live for a year without working. Then you can pursue any dream you like without fear of failure.
July 19, 2004 7:06 PM

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