Dave Burke - Freelance .NET Developer specializing in Online Communities

A freelance .NET Developer

Stealing Donuts...from a developer's perspective

I'm a developer.  I love donuts.  Don't bring bagels to my party.  I eat donuts.

I use self-checkout at my grocery store.  I scan the barcode and put the thing in a bag.  I come to my precious, my half-dozen donuts in the dozen-size container to keep donut interaction and bruising at a minimum. 

No bar code for donuts.  I look through the handy flip-list and find “Donuts and Fritters -- 634“ which I enter, expecting to then be prompted with “How many donuts or fritters?“ to which I would respond by pressing “6“ on the screen number pad.

But there was no prompt.  The Machine defaulted to “1“ and charged me 50-cents for a half-dozen donuts and didn't sqawk when I put the box in the plastic bag on the weight-sensing carousel.

So I thought, do I track down an associate, go through the cancellation sequence and re-enter, or, do I, as an Information Professional and Systems Architect, make the store pay for subjecting me to an inferior system?  Its not my job to tell the grocery store about bugs in their system after all. 

Wait.  I'm getting it.  OH MY GOD!

The guys who designed the system were...developers.  Developers love donuts.  Developers go to the grocery store to buy donuts AND THEY PROGRAMMED A BACK DOOR INTO THE SYSTEM!    

May God forgive me for revealing this Da Nerd Code of back door developer donut access. 



Raj Kaimal said:

Lol! The store ought to put a donut FIREWALL.
# June 8, 2004 12:58 AM

secretGeek said:

brilliant -- backdoor donuts! i can almost taste the calories
# June 8, 2004 1:19 AM

Anon said:

secretGeek: I think you must be mistaken, no calories at all in donuts. Not a single one ;). Donuts are Manna from heaven :)
# June 8, 2004 3:14 AM

Julie Lerman said:

Dave - you are too much! Thanks for my first good laugh of the day.
# June 8, 2004 8:42 AM

SBC said:

perhaps you were a cop in a prior life?
# June 8, 2004 3:33 PM

secretGeek said:

i've got a friend who works as a software developer for the police.

now that guy must have some serious donut fantasies.
# June 8, 2004 6:44 PM

Jack Colorado said:

lol, that was great! =) =) rofl =)
# June 9, 2004 12:54 AM

Dave Burke said:

Jack, Is that your real name? If so, how excellent! Do you wear a hat with a wide brim with an eagle feather in the band? Thank you, and to everyone whose comments made my day!
# June 9, 2004 8:41 AM

Julie Lerman said:

Anon- then donuts must be akin to "anything you eat standing up or in front of the refrigerator with the door open" - no calories!
# June 9, 2004 11:49 AM

Roman Rehak said:

I have to reward you for this post. I'll bring you a box of Krispy Kreme's from Montreal next time we have lunch together.
# June 9, 2004 11:23 PM

Dave Burke said:

Roman, I hope its soon! (To see you, of course, not just for the Krispy Kreme's.)

# June 10, 2004 8:08 AM

Cesare Bufano said:

Headline Krispy Kreme: 1st Quarter profits decline. Hey Dave, Did you have anything to do with this?
# June 10, 2004 10:06 AM

Dave Burke said:

Cesare, Yes I do, as a matter of fact. The closest Krispy Kreme shop is in Massachusetts!
# June 10, 2004 12:15 PM

Cesare Bufano said:

Oh, I see. That's how you keep your trim figure. You run back and forth to Mass everytime you want a Krispy Kreme.
# June 12, 2004 6:45 AM