My Long Awaited Review Of "The Matrix Reloaded"
I'm sure all you have been sitting on the edge of your seats wondering when I
was going to get around to blogging my review of "The Matrix Reloaded".
Fortunately, this wait is over.
To begin with, I'd first like to point out that I haven't actually
seen the movie, but I do feel
that I am fully qualified to offer a semi-professional review based on several commercials, Keanu Reeves' "Tonight Show" interview, random clips from other movies
I've seen recently, and my own personal predictions. I
also don't have any pictures, so I've had to improvise to provide the
same effect.
As expected, "The Matrix Reloaded" begins with the typical intro sequence of
falling green characters:
It fades out to Neo standing at the edge of an anonymous rooftop (likely to jump or
something):
As expected, he is immediately attacked by a pair of standard-issue,
culturally-diverse agents:
However, it turns out that these agents come in peace,
bearing a somewhat inappropriate gift:
Fortunately for Neo, a nearby phone breaks the awkward silence:
Answering the phone, however, serializes Neo into a
byte[] so he can be sent over the phone booth's 9600 modem back to Middle Earth.
Unfortunately, it appears Neo has been the victim of a data integrity
failure and is corrupted upon deserialization:
Now the rest of the Matrix gang must seek out the Oracle to find
out how to roll Neo back to his original state after the failed
transaction:
.jpg)
Unfortunately, like most Oracles, it is way too expensive
and not very useful. Millions of dollars later, the gang realizes they need to
find the Wizard of Zion to get anything useful accomplished:
And who is the wizard? You guessed it--no, not
Frank Stallone--Cypher (left):
Unfortunately, Cipher is still pissed about being killed
in the last movie, so he insists that it's Morpheus' own fault for not waiting
for WS-Reliability before implementing his half-baked multi-dimension
interoperability system. Morheus is somewhat upset in response and decides to
take matters into his own hands by killing Cypher again:
Oh my God! They killed Cypher (again)! You bastards!
However, upon closer inspection it is revealed that
Neo's failed deserialization was actually a result of using the wrong decoder.
Exact errors below:
One quick
recompile and redeploy later, Neo is restored:
The End