It's Friday afternoon and I'm feeling an itch for the weekend. I apologize up front for those who may be disappointed that this is not a technical post. Brian Keller and I were sitting around talking about one of the age-old Microsoft interview questions, “Seven dwarves, one bullet--who gets it?“ However, this led us to another question I know many people have wondered, “What would happen if Ed Kaim got to run his own version of 'The Apprentice' where all of the candidates were Disney's seven dwarves?“ Well let's see...
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Day 1
“Grumpy, you’re obviously one of the most passionate candidates. Unfortunately, your quick temper and comical sense of violence are beginning to introduce several elements into the organization that we are desperately trying to avoid. We looked past the severe beating you unleashed on Sneezy, and pretended not to mind when you smacked Dopey around, but today’s assault on the lobby vending machine has left us without a reliable source of salted snacks and sugary sweets. You’re fired.”
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Day 2
“Sleepy?!? Wake up Sleepy!!! We gave you the simple task of waiting for the repair guy to come and fix our broken vending machine and you fell asleep?!? Dammit Sleepy--you’re fired!”
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Day 3
“Happy, everyone around here loves your attitude. Unfortunately, you are so cheerful and trusting that you let the disgruntled Grumpy back into the building today, resulting in another severe beating for poor Sneezy. I’m sorry, but you’re fired. Grumpy, on the other hand, shows great character in his persistence, so he shall be brought back into the running.”
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Day 4
“Bashful, this morning you were given a simple task: go out and speak with one customer about their experience using our product. Four hours later I found you sitting under your desk crying. This is unacceptable. Anyway, you’re fired.”
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Day 5
“Sneezy, you’re a reliable worker and you always deliver. Unfortunately, your disease-ridden body continues to infect many of my staff and has resulted in an unprecedented 4500% rise in sick day usage. I’m sorry for having to say this, but you’re fired. Grumpy, please show him out.”
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Day 6
“Grumpy, you killed Sneezy. You know our policy on killing. You’re fired.”
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Day 7
“Dopey, I suppose that it’s amazing that you’ve made it this far. I guess part of the reason is that I haven’t seen you since the first day. Does anyone know what happened to him? Oh well, he’s fired.”
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“Doc, you’ve done a great job staying below the radar. Congratulations, you’re the new apprentice.”
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