That Leaked Press Release Everyone Has Been Talking About
REDMOND, Wash., -- Oct. 14, 2004 – On the heels of an incredibly successful Virtual PC 2004 launch, Microsoft Corp. today announced plans for two new related products expected to reach market in early 2005: Microsoft Abstract PC 2005 and Microsoft Static PC 2005.
Microsoft Abstract PC 2005
Abstract PC has been designed by top researchers from leading psychiatric institutions. By offering a unique view of the PC interface, users are sure to have an experience unparalleled elsewhere.
“I’m quite sure that Abstract PC will have a considerable impact on my productivity,” declared Matt Foley, a mobile resident from a nearby tributary. He later added, “Now I just need to get past these mind-splitting headaches.”
Microsoft Static PC 2005
Static PC is a product that makes use of state-of-the-art electrotechnology and cybernautical neurononisms, according to the Static PC marketing department. Unlike accidental versions of Static PC experienced by other developers at one time or another, this version is the first intentionally destructive commercial software released by Microsoft.
“Static PC 2005 sure is realistic,” remarked Bill Brasky, who insisted on remaining anonymous. “One second I was working in Windows XP, and the next second it was like my desktop had been hit by lightning! Developers just didn’t have the tools to prepare for this scenario before.”
The Obligatory Final Section
Ed Kaim, president of SharpLogic Software (http://www.sharplogic.com), added, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m getting quoted in a Microsoft press release.”
As per policy, Microsoft does not comment on unannounced products, such as the rumored Microsoft Public Override PC 2005.