I didn't write this, but I find it humorous........
You are walking down a deserted city street later in the evening when a man rounds the corner wielding a large knife. He makes eye contact with you, screams epithets at you and charges you wildly. You are armed with a fully-loaded Glock 40 and are an expert marksman. Following are the responses that distinguish whether you are a Liberal, a Conservative or a Southerner.
Liberal - I don't have enough information to decide how to act yet. Does he look like he's going to kill someone or might he be satisfied merely wounding someone? Have I done anything to offend him? Does he look hungry? Undereducated? Mistreated? Have I given him a full chance to air his grievances? Does he live in this lonely section of town? Why are the streets so deserted anyway? Why don't we appropriate more tax dollars for inner city education and revitalization? How about having a weed-pulling and sidewalk painting day to help brighten up the ethos of the area? Can I use the gun like a club to knock the knife from his hand until I can explain to his plight and help him see his options more clearly? [ad naseum]
Conservative - BANG!
Southerner - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click [sounds of reloading] BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! "Oh wowee, Daddy! Nice shot groupin'! Were those hollowpoints or silver tips?"