My Semantic Analyser Isn't Cutting It

I need to find some new semantic analysis software - something capable of extracting context from text. I'm looking for some type of component that I can provide a chunk of text, possibly some historic context (e.g. them = "Bob, Bill, Doug") and have it spit out significant context (or whatever) from the text…

Eg: Text: "Why do dogs have four legs instead of 5?"

Results:

   Question; Dogs;  Legs;  4 Legs; 5 Legs;

 Something like that… or…

Text: "I'm going to get them to use .NET if it's the last thing I do"

Context In: “I'm = Joel; I = Joel; Them = ABC Corp.; Thing = Action;”