Licence to kill the Internet
Maybe a bit extreme measures, but ... why not ? What do you think ?
PC Magazine: License Computer Users [via Computer Gripes]
Oft-justified computing curmudgeon John Dvorak lets loose on stupid users, calling for a license to compute.
I've often thought of something similar, especially when my step-dad calls me at work to diagnose and fix his installation of WinXP, somehow expecting me to know what his monitor is displaying, over the phone. Sorry, dude, in this life I'm a technical writer, not a black-ops agent trained in remote viewing.
Actually, to be more accurate, I have periodic fantasies about implanting a Darwinesque gene into computer owners -- something that will monitor brain activity and chemicals, and "disable" the user whenever he approaches or exceeds a personalized threshold of stupidity. Want to stay alert and conscious while using your computer? Then crack open a manual and learn about what you're using. Kinda gives a new perspective on good technical writing -- "This manual sucks...my implant disabled me five times before I could figure out how to use this stupid machine. I want my money back....plus damages for the rug burns on my forehead."
Luckily, these are fantasies, otherwise I'd probably be comatose. Still, the concept of a computing license is intriguing, however dicey the implementation. The US government would probably treat it like a tax, which would incite states to grab their share. It would probably be a bit like Britain's television license, except the fees aren't supporting quality public programs -- just one more thing for politicians to argue about so they can look busy. Computer makers would probably jump all over a computing license....oh wait, they already have, in a way, according to this article. I can just imagine the law enforcement for this -- Spontaneous browser pop-ups demanding your license number, possibly making pop-up killer software the online equivalent of radar detectors....police cars scanning houses with specialized equipment..."Hey Mom, I got a ticket for operating my computer after 6pm on my learner's permit. Can you drive me to my Defensive Computing class tomorrow?"
Licenses....yeah, that'll work.