Bug: I couldn't care less

Just a bit off topic today, but this has been bugging me for years and years and I finally have a significant channel through which I can attempt to set the record straight.

I'd like to report a bug in English language culture.

Often times a co-worker, friend, or family member may approach you and explain a situation they are in, a situation that does not concern you what-so-ever. Normally you show interest, because you're nice like that. Good for you. But sometimes you simply aren't in the mood. There are many ways you can communicate this to your conversationist, some are polite white lies like "I'm sorry, can we talk about this another time, I am late for a dentist appointment." Some are trickery, like "Look! Over there! <runs away>"

But the best one by far if you are feeling particularly foul is the blunt exaggeration:

I couldn't care less.

This lets them know that the subject is so uninteresting to you, so unimportant, that you could not possibly care about it any less than you do, no matter how hard you may try. You have in fact reached absolute zero on the caring scale. Wow... that's cold man. Have you no compassion?

However... as is the case for many sarcastic remarks, the sayer does not always appreciate the meaning of what they are saying. They just say it because they've heard it, basically. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you're going to spout a phrase designed to strike your subject with pure and utter rejection, you best get it right!

The bug is that so often what people actually say is:

I could care less.

O RLY? So what you're saying is that there is still a detectable trace of care left in your heart. You care somewhat, therefore it's possible that you could care less about it. That gives me hope... heck, it's almost a way of urging your conversationist to continue! Yes, yes, please continue... I could care less about the subject, so perhaps you have hit upon a subject we can share together! Hooray!

It's more common than you think. I'm surely not the first to call this out as a common mistake. But clearly we as a people have not been doing enough about it. It's even crept its way into the lyrics of a hit song!

One more thing... if you find any grammatical or spelling errors in this article, just know this: I couldn't care less about them. :)

Update:

You simply must check out this awesome diagram :)
http://www.incompetech.com/gallimaufry/care_less.html

 

18 Comments

  • In a bad mood?

  • Awesome.....I've been pointing out that error for some time now...nice to see someone else feeling the same way! :)

  • lol ... not a bad mood, just a pet peave :) And that Incubus song reminds me of it every other day. Good song otherwise :)

  • At least it beats mines' (pronounced mine-ziz).

    Example: Those are mines'

    8^0


  • Hmmm... mines' would be appropriate if someone 'I' could be more than one peson at the same time, and all of 'I' owned the item in question :)

  • Well, I feel the same way when I see someone type "10xs" on my instant messenger :)

  • Yes, I point this out to people every time I hear it from them. Usually I get a blank stare back because the person who said it really has no idea that what he just said was not really what he meant.

    You're right, it's been accepted into the language now, along with "your" when someone means "you're" and rogue apostraphe usage. Oh, how I lament the decline in the correct application of the English language.

  • Decline it may be, but language naturally evolves. That's how we got to where we are today.

  • Actually, this is a bug in *US* English language culture, not English language culture. British people always say, &quot;I couldn&#39;t care less&quot; as do, I suspect, most other English language speakers. Now, don&#39;t get me started on irksome phrases like, &quot;Do the math...&quot; and the like... :)

  • Excellent comment Mike :) Totally agree with everything, especially your 'rule'.

    Coming from a background like mine (a computer programmer), when you make concessions like "that's just the language evolving", a little piece inside of you dies (ok, a little dramatic there).

    It's like the specification for the system you are developing is being changed, and the change breaks your code, and it isn't even a good change, it's a bad one.

    And having an interest in artificial intellegence doesn't help -- because I find myself constantly wondering how on EARTH we're ever going to train computers to understand human language even with the smallest degree of accuracy. I don't think we can... not in the traditional sense of "training". The only way would be to teach it to learn the language the same way we do. Thus language is so complicated, all we can do is guide our understanding in the right direction, but we'll always be off the mark, assuming such a mark even exists.

  • Re: "could care less" vs "couldn't care less". My understanding is that the correct phrase is the first (though when you say it, you think, "Huh?"), since the original phrase was "I could care less than nothing". Once the last two words were lost, it didn't make sense, so we all started saying, "Couldn't care less."

    That was the story I got, anyway :-).

    Ixx

  • What about words becomming an antonym of themselves through decades or centuries of misuse?
    Anxious:
    1. characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency
    3. ardently or earnestly wishing.
    Peruse:
    1 a : to examine or consider with attention and in detail : STUDY b : to look over or through in a casual or cursory manner
    2 : READ; especially : to read over in an attentive or leisurely manner

  • you guys needs to get out a little more

  • Tell me about it...


    (which of course means: please don't tell me about it, I already know all about it.)

  • Thinking about the "Degenerating Language" issue, is this why we in the US have started using phrases such as, "He is like me" instead of "He is like I" which is short for the correct English; "He is like I am"

    Also, does this explain the "Whome do I ask" being changed to "Who do I ask" etc. I grew up outside the US, so now I'm confused a little.

    Or should I care less...

    Thanks for the Viewstate article by the way.

  • "I could care less" works just fine so long as you say it in a sufficiently sarcastic manner.

  • you could always cox manner...

    oh my god! i care so little i almost passed out

  • I couldn't agree more with this topic.. it has annoyed me for years that people say "I could care less" when they actually mean "I couldn't care less".

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