Saying 'no' early not only helps your customer, but it
helps you. If you're over extended, it ends up affecting
the current relationship and your others as well.
"A true measure of a man is how you handle victory and
how you handle defeat." - Nice post.
One very important thing to learn is that you're eager
to learn when you make a mistake. That's a big plus in
the character department, and it counts for a lot in the
long run.
Another possible lesson: If you find yourself spread too
thin, raise your prices until you are no longer spread
too thin. That sends people a signal that your services
are valuable and in demand. It also helps by focusing
your energy on the people who will benefit most from
your services (as expressed by their willingness to pay
your higher fees).
Another: Every time you say yes, you necessarily say no
to something else. So whenever you are about to say yes,
take a moment to identify what you would be saying no
to. Then check whether you're happy making that
tradeoff.
Bravo Roy. Great piece. Appreciate your candor and
honesty.
Hey, us ego maniacs have to stick together. I'm not sure
any consultant can entirely avoid screwing up and
upsetting a client now and again. My tendancy is to
communicate too much. Perhaps my ego thinks I'm being
paid by the word or perhaps I just like exlaining myself
and technology too much and... Damn it. I'm doing it
again...
Accepting the mistakes and learning from it is a big
plus. Openness to accept it in public is another one :)
Thanks for sharing
I think your client overreacted (based on your text)
unless this is true:
until you have an agreement in word or email, your
client shouldn't EXPECT you to go through with it.
However if you said: "Ok, it's a deal, let me finish the
paperwork and we'll finalize the dates" (or something
like that), it IS a deal, and bailing out is then a bit
bad from your side.
However even with a deal without a paper signed, you can
still bail out of it and the customer has to expect that
or calculate that risk: what if a detail in the contract
you have to sign blocks you from signing it and
negociations have to start over again about that detail?
These things happen.
What you did wrong is that you used email. Despite the
modern age of internet, email lacks one thing that
face-to-face or even phone calls have: emotional
expressions. In the past I've made this mistake as well:
when using email, the text can be interpreted in a
variety of ways and because there are no emotional
descriptions there (expression on the face as in
face-to-face talks, or expressions in the voice) so the
reader has to add them himself and WILL add these.
Another big thing email lacks is that it's one-way. When
doing these kind of things face-to-face, the client can
immediately ask "Why?" and you can talk about it. Things
can get rough there a bit perhaps, but in general you
can talk things through. With an email it's much more
harsh: it's like getting dumped via a postcard or
textmessage ;)
Btw, good luck with the final month! Congrats! :)
Roy, first off congrats on the baby (ours is due in
June). I know the horrors of overcommitting and watching
the calander sift away, feeling like you've accomplished
nothing. I think it's good you posted it here as we're
all human and prone to mistakes. We learn from our
mistakes and think twice next time the same situation
arises. I think you handled it well and hopefully trust
and communication with the client will grow back again
(it'll take time).
Your ownership of the problem says alot for your
integrity! well done :-) from mistakes great things will
grow
Roy--This is a great post. Your points about "saying
nothing" and somethings you have to say "no" really hit
home for me.
It's easy being a nerd and seeing all things through the
black and white view of algorithms. Your post will help
remind me that all things, not just the algorithms, need
to work!
rp
Having been an independent consultant for over 2 years
now, knowing when to say "no" has been, without a doubt,
the single best thing I've learned. Once you know how
and when to say no, you and your clients will be much
better off.
You make a mistake, you learn, you make the same mistake
again, you are stupid. Better keep with the learning :-)
Hey Roy,
You are a great & smart guy, and the post was
surreal.
Also, you played the guitar very well in the developer
conference in Spain (I think). I heard it on .NET Rocks.
But, Roy, remember this:
What is the difference between a smart and a dumb
person?
The dumb person learns from his own mistakes, and the
smart person learns from the mistakes of others.
בהצלחה!!!
Although it was difficult to turn them down at the
eleventh hour, you saved your client alot more hardship
than had you proceeded at the project flopped. Whether
or not your client interpereted that you led them on, I
think you made the right decision. It's easy in the face
of a large amt of cash to just follow along, not so easy
to put the breaks on.
I read this post not long after it was first published
and it caught my eye. Not many people will admit to
their mistakes, especially in such a public and
revealing manner.
In a field where reputation is very important I am
wondering what long-term effect this had.
How did it effect your relationship with your clients?
Do you still think it was a good idea?