"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." — Emo Philips
"There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't. " – Unknown.
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil." — Donald Knuth
"I should have become a doctor; then I could bury my mistakes." — Unknown
"Code softly and carry a large backup thumb drive." — Me
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." — Martin Golding
"DDE…the protocol from hell"— Charles Petzold
"Just because a thing is new don't mean that it's better" — Will Rogers
"The mark of a mature programmer is willingness to throw out code you spent time on when you realize it's pointless." — Bram Cohen
"A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." — Doug Linder
"The early bird may get the worm but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese." — Unknown
I hope someone finds this amusing.